понеделник, 28 декември 2009 г.

Порочен кръг на човешки взаимоотношения

Статията на Юлиян Марианов разглежда оплакването като част от порочния кръг от човешки взаимоотношения, при което се търси съчувствие от страна на пострадалия. Например, майка се оплаква пред децата си от бащата или обратно. Извиква се негативна енергия срещу близкия човек и отрицателното отношение към него се засилва. Получава се настройване един срещу друг. Доколко тази форма на общуване наврежда на колектива и има ли възможност потърпевшите да излязат от своята ситуация без да се обръщат за споделяне към свой близък или колега.Как да премълчаваме и можем ли да понасяме тежки семейни конфликти. Това обяснение се прилага при терапия на семейните взаимоотношения.

Triangulation as a form of Twisted Intimacy

Triangulation

From Unification Family Therapy



Triangulation is the game of involving others in our
negative emotional feelings against someone else!!!


It is a specific form of multiplication of evil, using the deepest moments of heartistic sharing to transmit negative feelings in the hearts of those who compassionately listen. It fills ones need for intimacy, excuses his guilty conscience and helps create evil alliances that will finally destroy unity and trust in the organization or the family where they are used. Professional players will get highest effect with list effort. Since it is a very emotional and heartistic, unconscious process, it is very difficult to revile the one who started it. One who rationally attempts to stop this process will find himself very vulnerable to accusations that he is the one spreading negativity, or that he is simply mislead by the other party. Thus any attempt of stopping this negative process will bring more intensity into the game. For this reason it is of great importance to clearly understand and uncover the core motivations and process of Triangulation.


Note: People who did not experience Triangulations in their own family of origin will naturally feel that this is something wrong and negative. However they will be confused and unable to do anything to stop or prevent the process. On the other side people who experienced that from childhood will naturally find each other and feel the heartistic common base. Once they start triangulating they will get the sense of real heartistic unity, "Oh finally someone we totally understand each other", "We can share everything with each other", "We are so united and hartistic." Since that is precisely the intimacy they learned to receive as children they are unable to distinguish its evil and destructive nature, because it is unreliable part of their core of existence - their hearts!


Triangulation at the Fall
1. Lucifer aligned with God's children
2. Gradually leading them against Him
3. Than using that to criticize God



Example of Family Triangulation
1. Mother struggles with father
2. Transmits negative emotions to the child
3. Aligns with the child against the father
4. The child expresses critical attitude to father
5. Mother uses that as further excuse to accuse him and undermine his authority
6. The child disrespects authority
7. Father further withdraws from the family



Note: Though emotions would be easily transmitted between mother and child, their relationship will grow more and more explosive with the child's growth. This is because there is no emotional maturity and independence developed. Instead there is extreme emotional dependence, to the point of no much individual freedom. In psychology that is called "Enmeshed behavior" and is regarded as the bases for schizophrenia.



Triangulations in the Work
1. People will spread rumors and form unofficial groups against each other.
2. Every act or comment will be ironically discussed and criticized.
3. The pain from that reality will grow and make them Triangulate even more intensively.
4. Once making more people negative they will use that as excuse to accuse even more.



Note: This will be done simple to fill the time with some talk, yet in effect will create barriers and internal struggles and enormous pain in their hearts. They will create their own hell without even realizing their own contribution to that. So in stead of ending this vicious games, they will just pure more and more oil into the fire. The more oil they pure, the more they will think the other side is guilty for the fire. Triangulation in the work place is only extension of the Triangulations learned in the family of origin.



Triangulation Distorts the Heart
1. Searching for Intimacy to share negativity
2. Poisonous vitality elements for the spirit
3. It becomes like a drug addiction for our spirit
4. It becomes the only way to form unity and feel love and trust



Note: Often people addicted to triangulation will have no much to say, and will not start trusting others until they find a common base for triangulation. Than suddenly they will become very lively, inspired and get the faulty sense of trust, which will have to be protected with more and more rumors and accusations against others, to keep sure of their alliances and protect from heir conscience accusing them. The more their conscience tells them this is wrong, the more they will triangulate to excuse their own conscience multiplying the same negative feeling in the hearts of others.



Triangulation is exactly the opposite of the principle of True Love (Give and forget). The more one spreads negative feeling in other's hearts the more hell overtakes his heart. It is a vicious cycle that harbors more and more power with each give and take of triangulation. It starts dominating our hearts and the only escape one finds from the inner hell is to Triangulate even more.


"Can you imagine how God felt as He looked upon fallen humanity in such a position? This is something you need to understand… Human beings today are not God's children. No matter how much God weeps, we pretend not to see His gears. No matter how sorrowful He is, we pretend not to see. This is because the human race springs from the flesh and blood of Satan."

True Father's Insights on God




Lesson from the Fall

From Unification Family Therapy

The Origin of Triangulation

We find it in the very nature of the fall. Lucifer triangulated with God's children in order to isolate and dominate even God. This way he twisted their hearts towards destructive selfishness.



Lucifer

feeling hurt in his jealousy

|

| Share his feeling

|

Eve

feeling compassion to him


The Correct Reaction

Eve was not supposed to listen to him humanisticaly and accept his feelings. Instead she was supposed to rationally correct him, if necessary even scorn him for his self-centered view and feelings.




Divine Principle states that humankind "inherited from the Archangel all the proclivities incidental to his transgression against God". These proclivities have become the root of the fallen inclinations in all people.




Two Step Process
1. Misinterprets others words and actions, and feel hurt by them.


2. Harbor negative thoughts and feelings and transmit them to others in deep heartistic sharing.



(This is the first and the forth fallen natures, but in the process this is the way of leaving ones position and reversing the dominion)



(This pattern is very characteristic of Schizophrenic Families)



Evil Triangulation

In intimate heartistic moments, transmit negative emotions, as indirect accusations: "he hurt me this way", or "he hurt her this way…".



1. Deep heartistic negative sharing
2. On humanistic, very external , self-centered base. -
3. Luck of logical or Principle arguments
4. Strongly emotional, "How it makes them feel…"



Vicious Cycle That Never Ends

The attempted solution only exaggerates the problem - an endless and vicious cycle that brings us to Hell.


Feel afraid

of being reviled and accused.

|

| One triggers

| the other



Spread rumors

to feel secure and protected.





In God's Ideal

God's Ideal is a society of open heart, in freedom to relate without fear. A society where we feel the security of being accepted, not constantly accused or critiqued… and involved in some Triangles (rumors, critiques, accusations, intrigues).

Няма коментари: